Electric Sheep, Encrypted Dreams

Your pancreas has been hacked. Your brain is a Wi-Fi hotspot. Your Roomba just quoted Marx.

It's Tuesday.

Electric Sheep, Encrypted Dreams is a darkly comic field guide to the cybersecurity catastrophes lurking in our hyperconnected future. From ransomware targeting your organs to cities that write poetry about your jaywalking, from robot unions to orbital debris extortion schemes, each chapter transforms emerging threats into unforgettable disasters—all grounded in real vulnerabilities, published research, and frameworks that exist today.

Part speculative fiction, part security manual, entirely serious about its absurdity. Every scenario traces back to documented incidents. Every chapter ends with actionable defenses. Every catastrophe happens on a Tuesday.

Don't panic. But maybe panic a little.

Keep your towel visible. Tuesday is coming.

Matthias Muhlert exemplifies Information Security leadership with over 25 years of transformative contributions. His career is marked by a commitment to empowering teams, optimizing processes, and leveraging cutting-edge technology to ensure operational excellence and strategic alignment with business goals. Currently, as Group CISO at Dr. August Oetker KG and serving as ECSO CISO Ambassador for Germany as well as DACH Chapter lead, Matthias is dedicated to fortifying digital landscapes against evolving threats—while maintaining that the best security documentation should be readable without inducing existential despair.

His journey includes leading global security initiatives, fostering resilient and agile security frameworks, and building robust relationships across organizational levels. Matthias's expertise is validated by certifications such as ISO 27001 ISMS Manager, CISM, CISSP, and Certified Ethical Hacker. His roles have ranged from automotive CISO to spearheading IT security in banking, showcasing his ability to navigate the complexities of cybersecurity in diverse settings—from ensuring cars don't get hacked to ensuring your breakfast sausage doesn't either.

At Oetker-Group, Matthias is responsible for developing and setting security standards across all companies, orchestrating a group-wide security community, and devising comprehensive strategies for information and OT security. His tenure at HARIBO GmbH & Co. KG involved heading the information security management system, establishing a dynamic ISMS, and pioneering an AI decision model in collaboration with other companies. As CISO at Schaeffler Technologies AG & Co. KG, he led local and global teams, introduced an information risk management methodology, and contributed significantly to international security standards.

Matthias's earlier roles include leadership positions at HELLA Corporate Center GmbH (CISO), UniCredit Bank AG (VP Information Security), and Kabel Deutschland GmbH (Main Information Security Manager), where he developed and implemented robust IT and data management strategies, led significant security development projects, and facilitated compliance with international standards. His career also spans roles as a Senior IT Security Consultant and CERT Manager at the European Space Agency whilst working for Verizon Business EMEA and as Head of Penetration Testing Department.

Matthias is also the author of Red Team Evaluation Framework, Navigating the Cyber Maze, and Philosophy.exe, further showcasing his ability to articulate complex topics and share his expertise with a broader audience—preferably with appropriate humor and exactly the right amount of paranoid optimism.

Book Pages

https://www.amazon.de/stores/author/B0DSCCJDQX

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/muhlert/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@Quill-SwingingCyberScribbler