Head Over Heels

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A01=Virginia Erhardt
American Psychiatric Association
Author_Virginia Erhardt
Body Structure
Category=JBSF
coping with spouse gender transition
En Femme
eq_bestseller
eq_isMigrated=1
eq_isMigrated=2
eq_nobargain
eq_non-fiction
eq_society-politics
Facial Feminization
family disclosure challenges
gender
Gender Dysphoria
Gender Identity Disorder
gender identity research
gender variance in relationships
Gender Variant Individuals
Gender Variant Partners
Gender Variant People
Gender Variant Person
Hair Transplant
Kindest Man
King Sized
MtF Transsexual
Natal Female Partners
Online Support Group
Posttraumatic Stress Reaction
psychosocial adaptation
qualitative narrative analysis
Straight Spouses
Transgender Feelings
transgender partner support
Transgender Spectrum
Transgender Support Group
Transgendered Partners
Transgendered People
Transsexual Spouse
Transsexual Women

Product details

  • ISBN 9780789030948
  • Weight: 544g
  • Dimensions: 152 x 229mm
  • Publication Date: 11 Dec 2006
  • Publisher: Taylor & Francis Inc
  • Publication City/Country: US
  • Product Form: Hardback
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Candid, first-hand accounts of couples who stay together despite highly emotional gender issues.

Head Over Heels gives voice to thirty ordinary women who live extraordinary lives as partners to crossdressers, transgenderists, and male-to-female transsexuals. These unique women discuss, with honesty and great candor, how they first learned of their partners’ gender issues, how they’ve coped with the emotions that followed, how they’ve dealt with concerns about privacy/secrecy, and how they’ve handled disclosure to children, friends, and family members. Far from a collection of “happily ever after” stories, these narratives are filled with pain, courage, curiosity, and joy as each woman struggles to redefine a relationship that includes intimacy, social acceptance, dignity, and respect.

The women whose stories are featured in Head Over Heels didn't know their partners were gender-variant when they first met. Some found out early on; others learned of their husbands' gender variance after decades of marriage. Some were told by their husbands—men they considered “regular guys;” others found out on their own, sometimes in shocking ways. Their stories represent a wide spectrum of women's life experiences with crossdressers, transgenderists, transsexuals who are nonoperative, pre-operative, and post-operative, families without children, families with children at home, and families with children who have left home. But these women share one thing in common: each has decided to stay in her relationship, exploring her new life with an open, yet cautious, heart.

Some of the voices heard in Head Over Heels:

  • “While putting my clothes on, I found a sales receipt on the bureau from K-Mart for shoes, a bra, and stockings. My immediate thought was that my husband had a girlfriend.”
  • “He dressed for me one night and it was the worst experience of both our lives. I was shocked and he knew it and that hurt him.”
  • “My siblings had been aware of Trish’s transsexualism for several years when she went full-time. They have told me that while I will always be welcome in their homes, Trish is not.”
  • “My husband may think differently, but I do have a sexual identity. Actually, I’m real clear about it—I am a woman and he is a man. I do not allow him to crossdress in the bedroom. I married a man; therefore, I will sleep with a man.”

Head Over Heels also includes historical and current information about resources and support for wives of gender-variant people, and a substantive introduction that includes basic information about sexual and gender identity and related issues.

Virginia Erhardt, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and gender specialist in private practice. She is a member of the Georgia Psychological Association, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association. She has offered presentations and facilitated seminars internationally on topics related to transgender, partners of gender-variant individuals, and intersex conditions. She appeared in 2003 on a Dateline NBC segment about married couples who stay together when one spouse is transitioning from male to female. Dr. Erhardt is co-author of Journey Toward Intimacy: A Handbook for Lesbian Couples. She has been published in Transgender Tapestry magazine and Transgender Community News, and was a columnist for the Southern Voice newspaper for three years.

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