Just One

One of the most impactful, life-altering—and for many, if not most—difficult choices men and women make involves determining how many children to have. With more women wanting or having to work and the cost of raising children rising, the number of one-child families has increased markedly and is quietly becoming the “new normal.” But, that fact alone doesn’t clarify what is desired or plausible given an individual’s situation.

What psychologist Susan Newman has learned during her most recent study (the fourth on the subject of roughly 100 subjects each) from only children and their parents will help readers wrestle with concerns, whether they are deciding their family size or parenting one child right now. Just One: The New Science, Secrets and Joy of Parenting an Only Child sorts out the most frequently asked and nagging questions:

• Is one child enough for me?

• Am I being selfish by limiting my family to one child?

• Does my child need a sibling?

• How do I raise an empathetic, responsible, content only child?

• Is the burden of caring for aging or ill parents too much for one child?

The answers are quite different from what they were some 30 years ago when Newman had her only child, and responses have changed mightily over the last decade as well. The perspective of other parents and adult only children will comfort readers who are still “on the fence” about keeping their child an only child and those who face infertility. And, the book will guide parents raising an only child by providing specific and reassuring advice brought to life by personal stories and the latest academic research.

Most significantly, the new insights demonstrate not only how attitudes about family size have shifted, but also why the stereotypes that stubbornly clung to only children have all but disappeared at the same time societal pressure put on people of childbearing age to multiply has eased. The open enthusiasm about having or being an only child is apparent in supporting personal comments. Collectively, the stories and data reveal a stark rethinking of what it means to be a family and provide a greater understanding of why more parents are embracing the idea of “just one.”

Susan Newman, Ph.D. is a social psychologist researching and writing about parenting concerns, family dynamics and trends. She has been a regular contributor to Psychology Today for more than 15 years and to U.S. News & World Report since 2017.

Dr. Newman's research and books examine building strong family bonds, raising only children and strengthening relationships with adult children, as well as the difficulties of raising a family and working. A list of published books follows.

Dr. Newman has been named one of the “25 Parenting Educators to Follow” by Roots of Action and one of the top 100 psychologists to follow on Twitter by Careers in Psychology. She has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, ABC’s 20/20, CNN, CBS Sunday Morning and MSNBC, as well as many television and radio shows throughout the country, including NPR’s Talk of the Nation and Marketplace, NBC Nightly News, CBS and Fox News discussing breaking news and parenting issues.

Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, WebMD, AARP and other influential websites as well as in Harvard Magazine, Woman’s Day, Parents, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, London Telegraph, Today’s Parent (Canada), The Times of India and other major newspapers and magazines in and outside the U.S.

Dr. Newman is a graduate of Northwestern University and was a part-time lecturer at Rutgers University in New Jersey. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Authors Guild and the American Society for Journalists and Authors, and is a Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused and neglected children.