PLENTY OF FAKES, SCAMMERS, LIARS AND ME

Controlled, betrayed, ghosted, cheated on and lied to. All these words sound like they are describing someone really weak, yet people tell me I’m one of the strongest women they’ve met. I’ve had to be strong and resilient in life as many of us are, but not for the same reasons as the majority.

My life has been filled with trauma starting from an incredibly young age. I still remember that first experience of death at the age of five. Parents think that because you’re young things are forgotten but my memory still relives the funeral of my baby brother.

Growing up as the eldest of seven children was a painful task, having to deal with my parents uncaring behaviour towards me. I now believe this has been the reason why I gravitated towards abusive men and tolerated their behaviour for years.

Finally after reading self-help books and attending classes on self-protection and mental illness I finally realised I don’t have to accept any behaviour that I consider threatening. I began keeping a diary on the dates I encountered from online dating. On reflection I could not believe how many men attempted to dupe me into handing over money or use me for sex. It was then I decided to expose those dating moments in a serious and comical way for you to enjoy and use to your advantage.

Sharon has been a single parent of three sons since 2002, raising them alone without any extended family support. Not having had the best parental upbringing feeling useless, neglected, unwanted and unloved she strived to not repeat the same mistakes with her own children. However, this backfired as she smothered them too much. Protecting them with unconditional love and kindness resulting in new mistakes being made.

Having been brought up on a council estate with both parents having the most volatile abusive relationship she swore to not put her boys through the same, yet history repeated itself when she fell in love with her own abusive man. The first man to show her what she thought was love.

Growing up seeing her parents argue, constantly throwing insults and abuse at each other seemed like it was the normal thing to accept within a relationship. How wrong she was.

Constantly trying to overcome issues she realised after eighteen years her mental health could not take any more torment trying to fix him. No amount of help could change his behaviour. Finally she left one day feeling on the verge of a nervous breakdown but holding onto the fact she knew she had to remain strong for her boys. She called a charity who had been verbally supporting her and they helped place her and her young boys in a hostel later moving on to a safe house. They resided there for several months, having homeless status because the boy’s dad refused to move out of the family home.

This was one of the most traumatic times for Sharon and her young boys and a huge learning curve. She swore if she ever got married again there would be legalities put in place to prevent being made homeless from her own property once again. Her priorities have always been the wellbeing of her sons, but she also deserved to be genuinely loved.

Still emotionally raw from the traumatic experience she found herself in, she spent several years single not having the energy or trust to put into another man until one day an acquaintance introduced her to an online chatroom to make new friends. It was 2005 and Sharon was feeling isolated, lonely, apprehensive and curious. She made up a chatroom name and began her new adventure.

It wasn’t long before a lovely man got in touch with her. He was searching for someone to teach him English and in exchange she’d learn his language. This was the beginning of another traumatic experience that resulted in a four year long distance courtship, then marriage and divorced within a year. Sharon was devastated but looking back there were too many obstacles in the way and red flags she chose to ignore for love! Her health was beginning to show cracks, so she had to act and start taking more care of herself.

Remaining single for a further four years until 2013 with no other relationships and not being much of a socialite due to family and work priorities she embarked on online dating using a free but well known dating site. From those dating experiences she decided to start documenting her journey for her own personal growth. Friends would encourage her to write about these unusual experiences exposing fakes, liars, and scammers and so she did beginning her ‘pen to paper’ journey in October 2019.