You’re Not the Problem

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A01=Helen Villiers
A01=Katie McKenna
Author_Helen Villiers
Author_Katie McKenna
baiting
boundaries
Category=VFJQ
Category=VFVX
Category=VSP
codependent
confidence
cptsd
dr amir levine
dr julie
dr ramani durvasula
dysfunctional relationships
emotional abuse
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eq_health-lifestyle
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eq_nobargain
eq_non-fiction
eq_self-help
family relationships
fawn response
fear of abandonment
gaslighting
generational trauma
grey rock method
holistic psychologist
i'm glad my mom died
insight podcast
it's not you
It's Them Not You
jennette mccurdy
josh connolly
julie smith
karyl mcbride
lovebombing
narcissism
narcissistic behaviour
narcissistic parents
narcissistic supply
narcissistic traits
narsissistic personality disorder
nicole lepara
npd
parentification
people-pleasing
phillippa perry
ramani durvasula
red flags
relational patterns
self-esteem
self-sabotage
the book you wish your parents had read
therapy
toxic relationships
trauma bonding
triangulation
why has nobody told me this before
will i ever be good enough?
you are not the problem
you can thrive after narcissist abuse

Product details

  • ISBN 9781399719278
  • Weight: 240g
  • Dimensions: 126 x 196mm
  • Publication Date: 09 Apr 2026
  • Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
  • Publication City/Country: GB
  • Product Form: Paperback
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The Instant Sunday Times bestseller & Top 10 Irish bestseller

'Helen & Katie's advice will change your life. It did mine.' - Kay Allinson, co-founder of Pinch of Nom


This book will show you what a narcissist looks like and how their emotional abuse impacts the lives and relationships of their families.


Many emotionally abusive behaviours from parent to child have become socially acceptable; because they're so prolific, they're normalised. Furthermore, humans often repeat relational patterns, passing the baton of trauma from generation to generation, until someone decides to change things. You're Not the Problem shows you how to recognise these behaviours and realise the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners, friends and colleagues. Using stories and examples from their clinical experience and extensive research, psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna share:

· What Narcissistic Personality Disorder is
· How to recognise emotional abuse in family relationships
· The immediate and long-term impact
· Practical strategies for healing
· How to avoid repeating these behaviours

With a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at your familial patterns, Villiers and McKenna show you how to truly break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim your life.

Helen Villiers, LLB, PG Cert, PG Dip, MA is a psychotherapist with a Masters degree in Working Therapeutically with Adult children of Narcissistic Parents, making her expertise in this area unique. Helen lives in South Wales with her 2 children and their springer spaniel Bailey.

Katie McKenna, BA, MIACP is an accredited psychotherapist who specialises in parentification and emotional abuse who works to help people recognise and heal from the life long impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics. Katie lives in Ireland with her husband and four children.

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