The Political Correcting of Carl Waxman
English
By (author): Phil Hipside
Masters of the universe dont usually wash up in low paid, public sector jobs, but thats exactly what happened to Carl Waxman following the banking crisis. If his pay grade and lack of champagne lunches weren't insulting enough, he now has to attend lectures on equality and diversity and park his beloved BMW at the far end of the college car park without the aid of a valet. Worse still, he has to put up with memos from his radical feminist boss, reminding him to use comic sans and terms such as `learners instead of `students. Carl perseveres with his attempts to restart his former lucrative career by drawing on a network of colleagues from the financial sector; colleagues from whom he is determined to hide his current predicament. `If word ever gets out Ive gone native; gone public sector, Id never get a proper job again. However, a particularly gruesome encounter with his sadomasochistic colleague, `Svetlana at a Gatwick hotel, leaves him with severe testicular trauma. As a result, he is forced to attend compulsory appointments with a psychotherapist who misdiagnosis him with Gender Dysphoria and is determined to support him through his `difficult journey` to become a woman. Another ill conceived networking opportunity results in him being blackmailed into marriage. But those are only the start of his problems. On the verge of losing his freedom, his job, his car, his home, his testicles and quite possibly his life to Islamic extremists following a misunderstanding at the Brighton SlutWalk, Carl is thrown a lifeline by the colleges gay, equality and diversity officer, Jeremy. But there is no such thing as a free lunch. When testicles get in the way of ambition, something has to give.
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